The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo

The smell of manure fills my lungs and I think to myself...this is fun. It had been about 15 years since my first and only attendance to the world's largest rodeo show, The Houston Rodeo. The rodeo has been running since 1932 and probably isn't going anywhere. Tourists from all over the world come just to see this show. Like me, those who live here, take it for granted, but it truly is an interesting experience.

My friend and I parked downtown and rode the train to the Reliant Arena. This train cracks me up. And the people who have never ridden it before annoyed me. After the rodeo was over, we packed in like cattle and as soon as the train accelerated, people started falling over. Hello...there are handle bars for that. Also, some people didn't understand train ediquette - like no yelling. Some fratty dudes who insisted on yelling their entire ride and making fart jokes. Very nice, guys. That's why you are having a little sausage fest. Stay single. Nonetheless, I was very thankful for the train. The traffic leaving the Reliant Stadium, with thousands of people leaving a parking lot at once, would have been more daunting and frat boys.

In addition, the rodeo brings families full of bulky strollers and slutty teenagers together. I just love being run over by strollers. And I am sure those babies like having their eardrums blown out at a loud concert, before they can fully develop. Great parenting. And speaking of great parenting, lets talk slutty teens! Since when was it okay for anybody to wear skirts and shorts that barely cover the va-jay-jay, unless you were a whore or a stripper? Are these our young girls goals? At 15, they already know they want to be a whore? Wow. I didn't know what I wanted to do until I was 22 and even then, I didn't know. So, I guess the new generations will be sluts and deaf. At least they know what they want out of life.

In addition to amazingly smart people at the rodeo, there was a cool carnival with rides and games. However, due to screaming kids, and the fact it is my spring break and I don't want to even look at children, we skipped out on the carnival and went straight to the food. There was plenty of stereotypical Texas selection: Tex-mex, BBQ, and various meats on a stick, all priced decently. I mean, all Texans love some meat on a stick. Or anything on a stick, for that matter. I got some nachos (what does that say about me?) and we headed to the livestock show.

Now, this was where the fun was at. There were all sorts of cute animals: deer, geese, ducks, chickens, turkey, cattle, a huge longhorn, sheep. And they were all standing next to a beautiful picture of what it looks like when they are prepared to eat. It's the cycle of life.



a hugeass longhorn. bigger than a horse.

a huge ass.


Bambi.

This was where all the Texas stereotypes ran together. I thought it was hilarious. There were these glammed up cowgirl outfits with rhinestones and horrible patterns. I felt out of place because I didn't have a cowboy hat, so I went on a quest for one and found some zebra cow hides. I love me some zebra stripped cow. Yeah, they are all throughout Texas. The best thing was the picture of Tom Selleck. It made my day.



Texas cowhides

Finally, we made our way to the stadium. Before entering the stadium, of course there was a list of items not allowed to be brought in. And only in Texas would some of these things be necessary:
No flagpole
frisbees
soccer balls
beach balls
fireworks
laptops
guns

and here is a summary of the rodeo:


They said no fireworks! The Eli Young Band played and were okay.

Bull riders rule! Hot!

Real cowboys don't wear those dumb plastic hats! That's not sexy!

The wagon races were full of excitement. A wagon fell of the Krogers wagon and the driver flew out and could have died. He was okay. Yeah!

All in all, it was a fun time. It made me proud to be from Texas. Texas gets a bad rap, but there is no place like it on earth like it!